In this first volume of my client interview series, I speak to Helen…

…a former client who participated in my Retirement Reimagined (now The Curated Retirement) course. We talk openly and honestly about making the transition to retirement and what’s important about having a purposeful retirement.

T: What gave you the confidence to make the choice to retire?

H: I was tired of the corporate nonsense. I learned that you’re not that unique, and it’s sad but sometimes you’re valued much more outside of an organization than inside an organization. 

I had a goal at the company to build the team and mentor my replacement and leave the team better than when I got there. I achieved this goal, and I couldn’t be happier. 

I felt as though I had achieved everything that I wanted to. It was time for a new beginning. Achieving my goal at work was a big part of my confidence to retire.

T: How did you feel when you retired?

H: I was so raw and I was so scared. One of the things that nobody ever told me and that I never expected, was to lose my confidence. I lost my confidence in everything. And it manifested itself in really strange kinds of ways.

But, I was ready to retire. I knew that I wanted to retire. And, I knew that at some point I would have the confidence to be okay ‘retired.’

T: What was important to you when you started to think about your retirement?

H: Having the health and the flexibility to choose what I want to do and when I want to do it.

Those are really important things for me.

T: What challenges did you face when transitioning into retirement?

H: Stepping out of my comfort zone. You have a certain amount of structure when you’re working. Even when you’re working self-employed, I don’t know about you but 

I impose structure. So I felt all over the place losing this structure.

Whether it was going from an employment structure, the need to be at a certain place at a certain time and delivering things, or whether it’s self imposed – not having a structure is different.

T: How did you overcome this challenge?

H: I created my own daily structure. Getting up in the morning and walking the dog, doing things around the house, grocery shopping, another walk in the afternoon, then a fitness class, yoga or meditation, and wind down for the evening. All very safe, mundane stuff, but it provided structure.

T: What is something important that you have realised about retirement?

H: On Tuesday my daughter and son-in-law called me to go hiking with them. I had planned out my day with my outlook calendar and said ‘no, I’ve got work to do’. But, when I hung up the phone I said out loud “Helen, give your head a shake” – this is an opportunity to go hiking with your daughter and her husband, and you have said that your priority is doing the things that you want to do when you want to do them. So… Get the courage, gear up and go up to the mountain. I can do this work anytime.  

I was so proud. So to me, retirement is changing my boundaries and getting out of my comfort zone – and not feeling  like “okay somebody has asked me to do something, I’m going to get it done.  Right now”. 

Retirement is choice. It still takes courage for me to drive myself up the mountain to go hiking and to choose that.

T: How has your mindset changed since shifting into retirement life?

H: I looked after my 5 and 7 year old grandsons for most of the Summer and I had to shift my mind from thinking ‘I’m not babysitting them’ to ‘I get to spend a whole Summer hanging out with them’. They help me see the world through a different perspective, because they live in the moment.

I have, overall, had to shift my perspective on things. I had to give myself permission to not be busy.  I wasn’t able to read after my Husband died, and yesterday afternoon I did nothing except read a book.

T: How was it for you to read in the afternoon?

H: It was awesome. I wouldn’t have been able to do this a couple of years ago, my mind would have been too busy.

I would have been thinking ‘well I probably should clean out that closet, I could take this stuff to donate, there’s a million things that I could be doing’. So I wouldn’t have done it. But, I was able to absorb myself in this book and it was pretty cool to not feel guilty.

It is all a healing journey, and took a lot of transition.

T: What else would you like to achieve with your retirement?

H: My Husband played guitar and he started teaching me. So, I’d love to get over the fear of picking it up and trying to not be frustrated about how difficult it is to learn to play guitar.

I understand that I need to take away the feeling that it has to be something other than just the pleasure of doing it. I’ve tried to take the pressure off by saying “My goal isn’t to go and perform anywhere. I love music.”

This interview with Helen highlights how the transition from working life to retirement isn’t the only ‘transition’ period. Retirement in general involves ongoing transitions, as you navigate your way through your retired life.

To learn more about managing transitions and planning for retirement, join The Curated Retirement Collective – my weekly newsletter where I share all of my insights and tips on designing a purposeful post-career life.